解:$(1)$将$x=\frac 52$代入方程$2(x+3)-mx-1=3(5-x)$,得$2(\frac 52+3)-\frac 52m-1=3(5-\frac 52)$,
解得$m=1.$
$(2)$将$m=1$代入原方程,得$\frac {x+3}3-\frac {x-1}6=\frac {5-x}2$,
去分母得$2(x+3)-(x-1)=3(5-x)$,
去括号得$2x+6-x+1=15-3x$
移项$1$得$2x-x+3x=15-6-1$
合并同类项得$4x=8$
解得$x=2 .$