解:$(2)$对于方程组$\begin {cases}2x - y = 12①\\4x + y = 12\ \mathrm {m}②\end {cases}$
① + ②,得$6x = 12 + 12\ \mathrm {m},$即$x = 2 + 2m$
$ $把$x = 2 + 2m $代入$①,$得$y = 4m - 8$
∴$x - y = 2 + 2m-(4m - 8)=10 - 2m$
∵方程组的解$x,$$y$具有$''$邻好关系
∴$|x - y| = 1,$即$10 - 2m=±1$
$ $当$10 - 2m = 1$时,$2m = 9,$$m = 4.5$
$ $当$10 - 2m = -1$时,$2m = 11,$$m = 5.5$
∴$m = 4.5$或$m = 5.5$